He peered into the moonlit sky
With a telescope and one good eye.
"I see no stars", he quietly said,
Then used the other eye instead.

But all that greeted him was black,
Nothing bright was shining back.
Then remembered that these things depend
On taking the cap off the other end.

He stared into the powerful lens
And saw a flock of startled hens.
Not knowing that the 'scope had dropped,
Moved gently downwards 'till it stopped.

He watched as hordes of comets flashed
Across his vision, oh so fast,
Then realised with some dismay
He was pointing at the motorway.

The moon loomed large within his view
Though with a distinctly orange hue
Because the telescope's line of sight
Had strayed onto a neon light.

He pointed up, began to gaze.
Two blinking orbs shone through the haze.
"Dual Stars" he began to say,
The barn owl frowned then turned away.

Orion's Belt was worth a look
Though it didn't appear as in the book.
Two eyes peered back and looked bemused,
The Jersey cow was not amused.

He scoured the skies throughout the night,
Not one celestial body bright.
Then suddenly with a cry of glee,
"My neighbour in her lingerie!"